Dual · Natures

but i did get some good news in Ontario - my script, Heather's String Theory (or superstring. or Dual Nature - i forget what i'm calling it now) has been accepted into Screaming Weenie's Clean Sheets Play Reading/Workshops series. w00t! i'm going to Vancouver for Pride! and now i get to be a *real* theatre artist and apply for grants to get me there (or wrack up my credit card, also like a real theatre artist).

i also have to finish re-edits on Happy Songs About Death and i can get that off, seeing as i now have a writing resume that includes more that a short story published in 1992.

only the audience shouldn't be alienated or distanced from the characters. they should participate in the creation of the characters and be drawn into the story being acted. they need to be part of the ritual of theatre (since theatre is ritualistic in origin). how else can you explain the point of going to a strange place to see people you may know assume different roles and speak exaggeratedly, but yet you go away having experienced something real?

basically, i want to be Bert Brecht, but with the communism. i'll leave that for Tony Kushner.

anyway, i'm coming up with various ideas for plays. or stories that i'm going to rip off to create plays against. but i haven't worked out the actual stories. like stealing Gilgamesh - a cruel man needs a friend, a wild stranger appears who is somehow "tamed" by a woman, the cruel man has an adventure with the stranger who dies, the cruel man searches for a reason --- but all that is too obvious: the cruel man is just jaded, hardened by past relationships, the wild man is a traveller who wanders into the bar, they have sex, but the traveller has to leave, and doesn't answer the man's emails. only funny.

it was decently acted, nice rhythm in the dialog, although the actors would occasionally lose it. but they yelled and wandered a lot. i know these are conventions in theatrical acting, but really - who stands with his back to his family and recites a list of complaints about his life, job, and wife, then moves to another corner, quarter turns and continues? i kept thinking about the cab scene in On the Waterfront, where Brando and Steiger confront each other, and it's so powerful because it's quiet. in fact the quiet bits of Carlins were better and more intense than the loud bits.

(admittedly, i got pretty loud in The Lost Mummers Play, but there were quiet bits too. i mixed it up.)

the play itself was all right - i don't know about it being the best unproduced play (or was prior to production) -- bits of it were straight out of Trailer Park Boys, with beer for dope and tequila for rum and coke. some really funny lines, some predictable, and not enough violence. come on, all that alcohol and all that anger and only two flashes of violence?

and i was struck by another problem - actors trying to sound realistic while projecting their voices. i'm thinking it can't be done. realism works on film, with microphones, sound editing, foley artists, and all the rest. but theatre isn't realistic, it's barely representational. so maybe the Elizabethans and Jacobeans were right all along and poetry is the way to go - ignore realism, use rhythm and poetry, make the actors work with words. my Mummering experience seems to show it works.

i've come to the conclusion that i don't have enough working play scripts. i sent off a copy of draft i've had for a while to one call for submissions, i keep putting of Michael Clark because i don't have anything for his Loud'n'Queer fest. and i occasionally consider getting up at the jam and performing, but all my friends have heard "drinking with Dad" and "the body of Christ." my scribbling at the Jam haven't left me with anything usable, and other than that, i've been concentrating on novelling (badly, for the last one).

so i've signed up for ScriptFrenzy - 100 pages in a 30 days.---no problem, i can type that with one hand behind my back. i've done 40 pages in 24 hours, at the 24 hour playing competition. which i'm also signing up for. by the end of April, i'll have 2 scripts i can work with (at least). hurrah. it'll be fun trying to work both in at the same time (luckily i'm skipping the writers conference too).

I actually spent most of the night in the Wood Shop, a smaller, intimate venue Peggy was hosting (and playing as Hot Flash, or, when joined by Ivan and Ched, "Chicks with Dicks"). and one of the things that struck me was, singer-songwriters have no idea how to write well about a place --- as in, how do you capture the spirit of a place without resorting to cliches or generalities, lines about "beauty" and light. then again, maybe i don't either, but there seemed something off about it.---there needs to be a story, and some characters, to show off the setting. maybe they just don't show enough sides of this place.

for example, i think John K. Sampson says more about Winnipeg in "One Great City" (and his other songs) than Ian Tyson does in all his songs about Alberta.

i'm wondering now if there's any point to writing a Whitehorse Song-cycle (or oratorio or cantata), or will it seem the same? and if i write lyrics and approach musicians for music/performances, can i deny them the right to do one of their own? (although Peggy's "Truck Song" seems like a good fit.)

(all this should be parenthetical anyway - i've got to finish the latest draft -third i think- of Happy Songs About Death first. and Judas.)

Now, to fill in the details – character histories, references to holidays, subtle observations that don't clutter the text, extra lyrics to make the original songs more real. If only I didn't have to work first. Why do I get these cool ideas when I'm stuck at my desk, motivated in the wrong direction, obsessed about stuff I'm not getting paid for?

I've also picked out a few possible publishers, the ones I want to try first. One's big (gish), the others smaller. Might as well – what's Rawi Hage got that I haven't?

Then, other projects – I wrote a few more lyrics for The Gospel of Judas last night – I still have to come up with the big reggae number in which Jesus explains the creation of the world, and then the betrayal and stoning. And I need to get back to Dido, though I'm debating if there's anything in the first draft that's worth saving.

I almost came up with the opening line, but got pissed off with a stupid “everyone/their” construction: “Everyone has their own story for why they came to the North.” Yeah, pedantic, I know, but years of English classes have beaten that into me.

i had one of those moments last night when things click into place. i'm going to try another version of Dido (this will be my fourth attempt, and second as a novel) - and i'm taking a more fictional approach. a guy (who isn't me) who hates his job (but isn't me) and who dreams of travelling despite not wanting to leave Whitehorse (but isn't me), falls for a lesbian/bisexual musician (who's not Peggy). he takes up guitar as a way to express himself (see? i'm not a musician), taking lessons, and that's how he starts falling for his teacher.... i don't know, it clicked for me, and i think it could work.

now, i just need to get the edits to Happy Songs about Death out of the way, and scribble a few lyrics for Judas, and maybe build up a cantata-libretto about Whitehorse....

anyway here's something i wrote a couple of weeks ago. Jerome suggested i write it.)

What do you do when your secret life is interfering with your real life?

Definitions first: which is the secret life and which is the real one? I have two separate identities in my life, with people falling into two camps: those who call me Barry (my official name) and those who call me “Jack” (acquired name). There's very little crossover between the two, as people who know me as Barry are usually official types, people I work with; people who call me “Jack” are friends, people in the Arts community. As a consequence of this division, people who call me Barry are often surprised that I write, despite my semi-regular column in a widely-read free newspaper, and people who call me “Jack” most often think I make my living as a soundtech (still amateur) or from my single, mostly bi-weekly column, have no idea that I work for the government, and, if they do, they have no idea what I do, even after I tell them.

I sometimes think of it this way: Barry is the computer guy, “Jack” is the writer.

Or: Barry works so “Jack” can write.

There's a problem with that. Barry's 8-5 job tends to be stressful, dull, and generally not enjoyable, so much so, that I sometimes wish I could just punt it and live as a writer. But “Jack” doesn't make any money as a writer (an honourarium from WUY and occasional contest winnings), and so I can't afford groceries, bills, and certainly not the mortgage on “Jack”'s income.

So I work, at my secret life (because no one knows what I do, not even the people I work with) strictly for the money so I can write, but working takes all day, and I'm so distracted all I want to do is duck away and write. But when I get home, I'm exhausted, burned out, and end up vegging out watch TV or surfing Facebook.

So how can I define myself as “an Information Systems Analyst who writes” when no one knows what the fuck an Information Systems Analyst does? And the Information Systems Analyst part of me is actually keeping the writer part from writing.

The best chance I get to be a writer is actually at Peggy's jam (where most people think I'm a professional soundtech). There's something about the atmosphere, the music, and the social nature of the place, that I can sit there and scratch out a few lines. No I don't understand why, but it's easier there than at home.

And I sign up for writing events, like National Novel Writing month (NaNoWriMo) and 24 Hour Playwright Contest (24HoPlayWriCo), answer calls for submissions. I suppose I could sign up for more writing classes (like I've done with Sally Clarke, Tomson Highway, Celia McBride, and Laurence Hill) but I think I've had enough of those. I don't want to be the bored housewife who takes writing classes because that's the thing she's always wanted to do. But I can't pack it all in and just be one or the other. I need the job to live. And I live to write.

Current Mood:	frustrated
Current Music:	Nick Cave, Lyre of Orpheus

anyway, that's for later. right now, i'm considering the next project: a rock opera based on The Gospel of Judas. i'm actually thinking of two versions - a concert/cantata version, a few songs, by different characters, linked into a vaguely narrative structure (like Lou Reed's Berlin and New York); and a full-on theatrical opera, with full characters and storyline (maybe with longer spoken parts, like Brecht's Threepenny Opera).

this could really work: a short version for bars, music festivals, a CD maybe (with grants for me and composers Rick Sward and his fellow Sophisticated Cavemen) - then from that, i approach a producer (Fiona Solon and the bunch from VarieTease) and Nakai, apply for arts grants, and work with musicians, actor, dramaturges, directors, etc., to get something that can be staged at the Arts Centre and theatrical festivals.

why not?

it gets dark early now, and stays dark later. but at least it's warm(ish). Peggy's is off on a whirlwind tour of the North Klondike Highway (Carmacks, Pelly, Mayo, Dawson) with Yukon Women in Music, so there's not so much to do at home, other than write and take care of Gibson. i'm even skipping the jam tonight - too much to do.

miles (and many words) to go before i sleep.

Current Mood:

peaceful

but mostly it's not as fun as last year's, so i'm thinking, not as good. i might end up shelving this project for a while (once i finish the draft - i'm not quitting yet, i'm at 20K). i'm going to finish Happy Songs... in December and get started on Judas. and come up with a decent plot for the 24 in April (and that's Script Frenzy as well).

plus, i've rediscovered coffee - and rediscovered why i don't drink coffee -- way too much nervous energy and the worst sleep ever.

Current Mood:	nervous
Current Music:	Lucinda Williams, "Jailhouse Tears"

so, to that end. i have almost two weeks (11 days) before NaNoWriMo - so i can work on the last NaNovel (Happy Songs About Death) to get it into a decent form. i still haven't heard from some of my readers, but fuck it - i know what it needs as much as they do. maybe i can get the thing sent off by the end of the year or beginning of next.

and then, for 24 (if it happens this year), i'm planning to do a first draft of my opera libretto (well, the plot of it anyway, adding the songs and converting to verses later), and maybe, if i have time, tossing out my drafts of Dual Nature and starting that over (and adding 1667 words to this year's NaNo).

Current Mood:

frustrated

i know what's missing from the novel, or i think i do. so i'm slowly adding it in. i've got a friend reading it, but between work, ATVing and other summer activities, it's been on her shelf more than in her hands. if i get it cleaned up, and soon, i can get it off to a couple more friends for review. or i could say, screw it, and just send it off, un-novel-turged, and say the roughness and unevenness is just what i was going for, it doesn't have plot-holes - it's got style.

jam nights continue excellently, but i'm still having trouble figuring out who to profile next. who's cool and upandcoming. i've been considering rules for prospective interviewees: 1) covers are not enough (usually. unless they're really cool). 2) do music i like - indie-folk/rock/pop or celtic. 3) if not, do it with lots of style - i'll interview people who do old country if they do it right.

Current Mood:	thoughtful
Current Music:	Elliott Smith

i'm actually writing this while i'm waiting for OpenOffice.org to download and install the latest update and i can actually get to my next article. i'm still having issues with column, but i'll deal and carry on. my editor suggested looking for ironies and finding out things about my subject that even s/he doesn't know (i wonder if that's like when Andrew interviewed me and got my chronology wrong and insisted on spelling out my real name).

i've also been added to my novel, filling in the gaps i've discovered. i'm adding on a scene in Hades, so that i can work Proserpina into the story. i've also discovered a couple of places where i can use extended metaphors - my friends on Facebook seem to like the one i have already. and i still like the novel, i think it comes together well, it's got a nice story arc, conflict, resolution, etc., so i'm seriously going to try publishing it.

i'm still looking for test readers (alpha/beta testers), so if anyone's interested, let me know.

Current Mood:	pleased
Current Music:	Dana Sipos, The Secret Project

i'm also definitely changing the narrator's name from Roland to Vergil --- Roland's a good epic name (and my great-uncle's), but Vergil is better for a descent into the underworld. i thought about saving Vergil for the next one (based on the Aeneid), but i like the idea of using my own name as the narrator for that one.

my other writing has slowed down. the What's Up, Yukon? articles are getting harder to write. and it's not that i can't find anyone to write about, or that they aren't interesting, it's more that writing the articles is like cut-and-paste, following a template, filling in the blanks. same article, different name, different genre.

not that i don't like the column - hell, i got a novel out of it.

any suggestions, advice, whatever, for the column is appreciated.

Current Mood:	melancholy
Current Music:	Broken Social Scene

homegrown, overall, turned out to be fun. but i noticed that, really, only three shows (mine, Celia's, Winluck's) were actually "plays" - characters, story, plot, dialog. and i still have to say, non-text theatre (or "devised theatre" or "a complete mess") is not something i can do or am interested in doing.

anyway, must get back to rewriting my novel. and writing my article for tomorrow's deadline.

Current Mood:	relieved
Current Music:	sonic youth